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# Subject Pun Added By
10 Dogs. What do you call a sad fruit dog? Meloncollie.
15 Land Mines I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are through the roof!
16 Whats a couple "What's a couple?" I asked my mum. She said, 'two or three', which probably explains why her marriage collapsed.
17 Cobwebs I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.
18 Drugs I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
19 Rudolph What do you call Rudolph with no eyes? No eye-deer
21 Scouts and Jews What's the difference between the scouts and the Jews? The scouts come back from camp
23 Juan How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just juan.
25 School My mum asked what school was for. I said its for teaching children what hell is!
26 Ackbar What do you call a Muslim member of the resistance?........ Admiral Ackbar
27 Chernobyl What will happen when you wank in Ukraine? Chernobyl fallout
28 FBI Knock knock. Who’s there? The FBI! The FBI who? We’ll ask the questions.
31 Terminator What do you call black terminator? Termin*gger
34 America Whats the difference between yoghurt and America? Youghurt can be fat-free
36 America 2.0 Whats the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for 250 years it will develop a a culture
37 Europe I drove for 45 minutes to get some groceries from the Netherlands, then went to visit some friends in Germany before heading home.
38 USA I Got in the car in Florida, drove for 9 hours and I'm still in Florida
40 French Fish 🐠 Why should yoy not eat French Fish? Because it’s Poisson.
41 Paris Are you from Paris? Because you’re driving me In-Seine
76 Silk Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
77 Police Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
79 Spaghetti I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
80 Motorbike What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha
81 Antenna Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent
82 Gym Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.
83 Love Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably ****.
84 Whiteboards I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
85 Watches I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
86 Suitcase A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage. Sadly, he lost his case.
87 Buried Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? It was a grave mistake
90 Rudolph 2.1 What do you call a blind reindeer that doesn’t misbehave? Good eye deer
91 Alphabet Im super friendly with 25 letters of the alphabet....... I just don’t know why
92 Octopus How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles
93 Moses How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it
94 Steam trains My friend wanted to get run over by a steam train, so I organised it for him and he was chuffed to bits.
97 No Nose What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows
99 911 Whats ur emergancy If you play with fire, you’ll end up burnt. If you play with a firefighter you’ll end up wet!
100 Firefighter It’s my job to go in when it’s extremely Hot and I never pull out until it’s dripping wet!
133 Cheese Did you hear the cheese factory exploded the other day? De-brie went everywhere! bethany_swim
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